Strawberries, Cherries, & the Glory of Summer Fruit!

Anyone else loving how much fruit is in season this time of year? I LOVE it! I’m sitting here munching on a breakfast of grapes, watermelon and greek yogurt as I type. I also love blackberries and they are so sweet right now you don’t even need to dust them with splenda. And strawberries! It’s a challenge to find non gased strawberries (if anyone has tips for identifying gased strawberries besides tasting them please share) but when you find a perfect flat that’s sweet and juicy it’s heaven!

Not familiar with the abundance of summer fruits available for consumption? I got your back! These fruits come into season gradually over the summer months. Some, like strawberries, start to disappear from mid-July, while others, like the currants, don’t come into their own until later on in the summer.

• Apricots: Eat on their own; halve, stuff and bake; cook and puree to use in ice cream, mousse or soufflé.
• Blackberries: Pick from the hedgerows at the end of summer, rinse thoroughly before use. Perfect stewed with apples, alone or in crumbles and pies.
• Blackcurrants: Their intense flavor is best mixed with other fruits like strawberries, raspberries or apples. Puree and use in fools and ice creams.
• Blueberries: Sweet enough to eat raw without sugar. Also good with pancakes, in cakes, lightly stewed and spooned over ice cream, or baked into healthy blueberry muffins.
• Cherries: Sweet varieties are good raw and can be added to salads and fruit salads. Sharper varieties need cooking, to use in tarts, compotes, pancake fillings or as a tart sauce to serve with meat.
• Gooseberries: are very versatile. Click here for gooseberry recipes.
• Loganberries: A cross between a raspberry and a blackberry, these are quite hard to come by. They’re good raw with sugar and cream, pureed as a sauce, or to make a mousse or fool.
• Plums: Lots of different varieties, available right through the summer. Most are sweet enough to eat raw, or you can bake them, or make them into crumbles, pies or tarts. Try slices added to green or fruit salads, or bake them alongside meat.
• Raspberries: Eat raw, mix with other summer fruit in red fruit salads or compotes, use to fill flans or scones, puree to make sorbet, ice cream or a tangy sweet sauce.
• Redcurrants: Very pretty, but very tart. Add to blackcurrants and stew with sugar for pies, crumbles or summer pudding.
• Strawberries: favorite of all the summer fruit. Click here for strawberry recipes.

Monday Manic Monday

Loren and Me at Special Olympics Swimming Practice

Mood: Unproductive
I can’t live, if living is without _____: Naps
Breakfast: 4 ounce of grapes, 1 large banana, Greek Yogurt

Weekly goals: Stay On Point (OP) the entire week.

Highlight of my weekend: Tubing the Ichetucknee River.
Gotta get it done: A jump start on my grad school assignments due in a couple weeks. Why do all due dates tend to clump together?
Looking forward to: Special Olympics swimming practice today!

Copy/Paste/Answer in a comment! Can’t wait to hear how you are doing!

Mood:
I can’t live, if living is without _____:
Breakfast:

Weekly goals: 

Highlight of my weekend:
Gotta get it done:

I look forward to hearing how you are doing!

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• NPR outlines something we’ve all known for a while: that the BMI is bogus.
• I bought my bicycle this weekend! It’s shiny and fabulous and inspires me to get out and ride. One thing that surprised me: how hilly Tallahassee is! Taking a bit to adjust to. Still I’m excited and looking forward to becoming a bike commuter.  The World Needs More Girls on Bikes.
• In a bad mood? Women’s Day list 18 ways to snap yourself out of it. I particularly like 1, 7, 9, and 18.
• Former FDA Head Says Food Manufacturers Use Sugar, Salt, And Fat To Short Circuit The Brain’s Reward System.
• And finally, my theme for July: Be consistent, be awesome. Going to apply this to school, working out, and eating!

I Eat Too Much. Period.

These past couple months I’ve been in a funk. I’ve just felt melancholy, lethargic, and defeated in life in general. There is no real spur for these emotions, no crisis going on, and no life changing event that spurred my slow downward spiral in depression. I almost wish there was so that I could point and go “That! I need to fix that and I’ll feel better!” But all the major components of my life- my marriage, my friendships, school, work, financial life- are running smoothly.

 The only area of my life that is off kilter is my health. Boot Camp is over. I’d like to say I did fabulous but that’d be a lie: I ran out of steam the last week and the 5 am wake-up call was just too much to take. In addition to the ungodly early wake-up required, I was frustrated by my lack of weight loss. 3 lbs.  Over a month. Granted, it’s better than a gain but still. It’s frustrating and I think my PCOS is integral to the fact that loss is so hard for me.  I don’t think my health/weight is the reason I’m depressed but I know it sure isn’t helping me get over it.

But I don’t want to make excuses. And about two weeks ago I hit bottom about my weight and started researching lap-band surgery. I researched it extensively- physician centers, complication rates, best and worst case scenarios, local and national bariatric centers, cost, after care and post-op eating habits. I discussed it with my husband and my mom extensively. I figured out how I could pay for it and for moments had dreams of a 132 lb Kelly prancing on the beach.

But I couldn’t intellectual ignore the facts. Yes, I have a metabolic syndrome that puts me at a disadvantage with losing weight. But- push comes to shove- I’m overweight for one reason and one reason only: I eat too much. Period.

I have a myriad of reasons that I eat too much:

1. Because food tastes good and I enjoy it.
2. Because I want to sooth my emotions.
3. Because it’s convenient.
4. Because I can financially.
5. Because I give myself too many choices with foods.
6. Because I feel entitled because a) I’ve aced an exam; b) volunteered; c) exercised (I know, the irony), etc.

I could go on and on and on. The bottom line: I eat too much. How is bariatric surgery going to stop that? Especially since I didn’t list “Because I’m hungry” as any of my reasons that I eat too much and the surgeries main purpose is to quench one’s hunger.

So… third verse, same as the first. Back to Weight Watchers. Work no planning out my meals and choosing healthy, filling foods. Work on portion control and building foods I like into my routine so I don’t feel deprived and binge. Laying out what I’m going to eat the night before to keep the “I have no idea” monster from convincing me to go out and eat because it’s just easier.

Am I excited? Not really. I wish I felt rejuvenated and excited and ready to take on the world, kick ass and take names but honestly, I’m just not there. Still, doing something proactive is better than doing nothing. It’s a small step but a step in the right direction. I’m hoping that after I start eating better I’ll start feeling better, more motivated and happier in general. That whole body, mind, spirit snowball effect? I’m hoping for that.

Motivation = Low

Fair warning: unusually cranky/whiny post ahead. Proceed with caution.

This week has sucked so far. Last weekend I worked at an out of town conference which basically meant I had no weekend. Then Monday- Wednesday I’ve had a migraine varying from “OMG this is annoying” to “are ants eating my brain? Would a gun solve the problem?”.

Monday and Wednesday I didn’t make my 5:30 am boot camp. Determined to make it up, I slept most yesterday (took sick leave due to my migraine), drank lots of water, and set my alarm fro 5 am this morning.

The alarm went off and automatically my brain started going. “You could go tonight at 5:30 pm instead. If you went back to sleep right now you could get an extra hour and forty five minutes. You could skip today and go tomorrow…” I woke up, drank water, went to the bathroom, pet my adoring Scooby a bit, and then pulled on my workout clothes. As I drove in the dark I thought “seriously, another hour and a half!”. I turned around the car. Then out loud I mumbled “what the &@(! am I doing?” and turned back around and headed towards boot camp.

I went. It sucked. I mean, the class was fine, challenging, and a good work out, blah blah blah but… it sucked. I felt like I was going to throw up multiple times. I did not want to be there. I was not into it. But I did it. I trudged along. I kept my heart rate up. And in 45 minutes I was done and- trying to be positive- reminded myself that I had finished my daily workout before I would of normally woken up.

I’m just… I don’t know. Done? Tired? It seems the impossible dream right now? Spread too thin? I’m tired, cranky, and frustrated. I feel like a failure. I feel like I’ve failed myself. I feel like I’m tired of spending so much time and mental energy thinking about my weight, body, and health.

And when I feel like this, I get reclusive. I don’t want to be around friends. Or family. I don’t even want to think about my birthday coming up in July. Or my graduation party in August. 

I’m sick of the struggle. I just want to go to sleep.

Boot Camp Update

It’s been a busy week so far and there are no signs of slowing down as I approach the weekend.

Monday: Woke up at 5 am for my first Boot Camps To Go session. It went well; it was the instructional class where they show you correct form for kettle bell exercises and orient you to how the program works. I was mildly sore the next day but a “good” sore, a “wow, I’ve got muscles under there?” sore. Then after work Monday we had our first Special Olympics swimming practice. Lots of new athletes, some great new volunteers, and we are throwing some people with more severe physical limitations into the bunch for the first time. It should be a fun season. It was great getting in the pool again though stripping to my swimsuit in front of athletes, parents and volunteers wasn’t ideal for me as I was explaining pool safety and orienting them to the pool. Oh well, gotta rock what you got. And I (try to) refuse to let my size keep me from doing things I want to do. Treading water in the deep end for 2 hours I think counts as a workout too.

Tuesday: Sore and migraine-y, I decided to not do a morning workout and opted for an extra hour of sleep. Tuesdays are my longest days: work from 7-5 pm and then class from 5:30-8:30 pm. The 8 hours of sleep helped get me through the day and I was still exhausted and able to crash at 10 am. I think I’ll have Tuesday’s be an “off” day for me so I can get a full hour extra of sleep to equip me for the long day.

Wednesday: Boot Camp again at 5:30 am. Beginners got “thrown in the mix” today, doing the regular workouts with the veterans. I think I did ok today. When it got too much and I felt light-headed I’d take a short break, concentrate on my breathing, and then do knee to elbows to keep my heart rate up. I’m doing modified versions of a lot of the exercises (most newbies do) but still, by the end, my shirt was drenched in sweat. Tonight I plan on going yin yoga to stretch and relax and get my ooohhhmmmm on!

Thursday: Plan on doing cardio in the morning. Then in the afternoon I leave for Orlando for a work conference.

Friday – Saturday: Conference. Saturday leave the hotel and go to stay with my best friend Victoria. Hang out.

Sunday: Hang out with Victoria! Make-up shop (maybe?). Drive back (4-5 hours) to Tallahassee.

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Reflections:

• Waking up at 5 am? Not as hard as I thought. I know it might be partially the novelty factor but I think also the fact that I’m being pretty strict about going to bed at 10 pm and refraining from caffeine after 6 pm is helping.
• There is a quote on the Boot Camp wall “You cannot out train a bad diet”. Since Monday I’ve been ravenous. More so than usual. Why I’d love to be all “it’s physiological” I know it’s not. I need to really work on eating cleaner and healthier in order to optimize my Boot Camp results.
• I’m getting a bike! A “ring ring” bike not a “vroom vroom” bike. This is the bike I’m getting:

Giant Sedona W, 21 speed comfort bike

• My ideal self uses a neti pot daily. Any other neti pot users out there?

Slim Down Summer + Boot Camp

My ideal self wakes up early and exercises. So I did it. Signed up for 5:30 am Boot Camp. I’ll be going two days a week and, to keep a good schedule, waking up and doing cardio the alternative weekdays.

This will be a slim down summer. I’m going to work my ass off. I’m sick of excuse so I’m choosing to work out in the AM. I find AM workouts beneficial for many reasons:

1. I’m less coherent in the morning and not able to rationalize why I should skip working out.
2. After work I want to relax. Working out in the morning enables this.
3. Starting the day off on the right foot helps me feel better about myself throughout the day and make smarter choices in general.
4. It allows me to participate in after work activities (Special Olympics, Church obligations, social activities).

So every weekday every day I’ll wake up at 5:10 am. That mean I’ll have to go to bed 10 pm every night which will be a change. Weekends I’ll try to wake up at 7 am just to stay on a semi-schedule (7 hours of sleep a night).

How will I deal with mid-day grogginess from waking up so damn early? A nap of course. I love naps. I’m a caffeine nap advocate and love long, leisurely naps on my weekends. I plan on getting a 20 minute nap every day at lunchtime (yay for living really close to my office) during the week and planning a 90 minute, REM timed siesta on Saturdays and Sundays.

I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m ready to feel like an athlete again.

Link Love:

• How to Become An Early Riser – Steve Pavlina
• 10 Benefits of Rising Early, and How to Do It – Zen Habits
• How I Won the Battle of the Bed – Iwillchangeyourlife
• How to Wake Up Early (an entire site devoted to waking early tips)

Ideal Self Check In

Yesterday was an almost ideal day. I ate a healthy breakfast of an apple and greek yogurt. I did my makeup first thing in the morning and felt confident and ready to take on the world. Work went well: I was engaged in topics, interested, and able to contribute to important projects. I spent quality time with the husband. I made dinner instead of opting to eat out (Indian chicken! Yum!). We went on an after dinner walk with the dogs. I got things done off my “to do” list that have been lingering for weeks. I worked out at the gym while watching SYTYCD. I completed some graphic art projects for my family and Special Olympics. Overall I felt accomplished, on top of it, and as though I had lived an intentional day. It felt fabulous.

Some people might ask “why is putting on makeup part of your ideal day?” First, I’m obsessed with makeup. I love it. My stash is ridiculously large. This is especially amusing since I rarely deviate from a very natural, classic, clean look.

I also find that applying makeup for me is a fundamentally optimistic act. It shows that I’m ready to go out into society and want to be looked at in a positive light. Cosmetics send signals to other people. And happiness breeds happiness. People actually feel better when they’re around others who radiate positivity, and that’s the purpose makeup aims to serve. Novelty is a natural stimulant. It drives up dopamine in the brain. That feeling you get when you find that perfect shade of lipstick is your reaction to its newness…The whole ritual of putting on cosmetics is soothing. Performing small actions deliberately and carefully can be tranquil. And spending time focusing on you can be very restorative.

Not a makeup person? That’s cool. I totally get it as I was a non-makeup gal before being introduced to Bare Escentuals. But there are other ritualistic activities you can perform as self care to help you feel happier, more confident, and centered:

• Meditate daily.
• Massage your whole body slowly, with wonderful smelling lotion.
• Get or give yourself a manicure.
• Take 10 deep breaths with soothing music playing.
• Take a walk in a park and smell the air.
• Put your feet up and call a friend whom you haven’t spoken with in a while.
• Read a novel by candlelight.
• Trade foot rubs with a friend.
• Go to a comedy show and enjoy those big belly laughs.
• Wear your favorite party clothes or lingerie while doing the dishes.
• Get a massage, facial or body scrub.
• Draw a picture like you did when you were a child.
• Play with your dog (or a friend’s dog).
• Free write in a journal.

So how is your journey going to become your ideal self? Are you making smarter choices? Are you living an intentional life? What self care rituals do you engage in?

The Media Is Obsessed With Fat People: I Want To Save Your Life

Show: I Want To Save Your Life

Rating: Boooo

Station/ Time: WE TV, Saturdays at 10p|9c

Premise (from website): WE TV’s all-new original series I Want to Save Your Life showcases undercover health interventions by Charles Stuart Platkin, a nutrition and public health advocate, also known as the Diet Detective. After struggling with weight loss in the past, spending most of his childhood and early adulthood overweight, Charles lost more than 50 pounds and has kept it off for more than 10 years. This series, inspired by Charles’s own success, follows him on an incredible mission to bring Americans back to a healthy lifestyle.

My Reaction:

I do not like this show.  I just find its negative imagery and alarmist tone little different from the same kind of body-hating subtext underlying most media aimed at young, insecure women these days. And honestly, I’m over it right now. I’m sick of pans to scales, seeing people cry, and then watching an “expert” scare the living shit out of someone to get them to work out. While a lot of time these “interventions” seem successful, I bet their high “on camera” success rate is largely just because of that, they are on camera. Talk about accountability!

Hi, my name is Charles Stuart Platkin and I want to stal- I mean save you!

The other thing I don’t like: the creepy commercials. Seriously, as if I need another thing to be subconscious about; now I’m afraid a weight loss zealot will be staring at me as I eat a cookie at an office party.

While I love the idea of digging into the “why” portion of why we overeat, he glosses over this aspect of the show. And I mean glosses. Within 5-10 minutes of the show he’s approaching a startled and confused participant and saying bluntly “I want to save your life.” (BTW, am I the only person who would think anyone approaching me with this line would be a religious zealot?).

Other Reactions Worth Sharing:

Over at Feministing, columnist Miriam states: “Not only is this creepy, it’s just plain wrong in so many ways. Do we really need ANOTHER television show that tells women they are ruining their lives because of what they put in their mouths?

First of all, this guy is like a stalker, following her around, monitoring her. He’s creepy beyond belief. Secondly, this once again, for the millionth time perpetuates the myth that everyone who is overweight is secretly and guilty sneaking ice cream sundaes. We should know by now that weight is much more complex than that. Thirdly, this shit is just sensationalist. I want to save your life? This woman does not look like she is at risk of dying because of a few extra pounds.

Also, why is it always skinny white guys who have discovered the secret of weight loss and are going to teach it to women?”

Does it impart useful  information?: Yes. I guess. But it’s pretty run of the mill stuff. Not worth the 30 minutes of your or my time. Go exercise instead.

Is it inspirational?: Egh… mayb… no. No it’s not.

Available Online?: No.

Monday Manic Monday

Mood: Ready!

 Goal for the day: Finish my to do list.

Last movie I watched: HBO’s Grey’s Garden. Fabulous movie. 

Lipgloss, lipstick, chapstick, or naked? Lipstick- Lancome Color Fever Shine in Old Flame

Breakfast beverage: Vitamin Water 10, lemonade flavor

Goals for the week: Start the new semester off well, get everything I need to done before Special Olympics Track and Field State Games in Orlando!

Theme song of the week: TBD.

When I grow up, I wanna be ______: able to balance work and family.

Things I’m really good at: Cleaning (when I feel like it). If they gave out medals for cleaning I would have won at least a bronze this weekend.

Things I need to work on: Not procrastinating so much. Getting things done.

Copy and paste the following in a comment and let me know how you’re doing!

My Weekly Healthy Food Haul from Costco.

 Goal for the day:

Last movie I watched:

Lipgloss, lipstick, chapstick, or naked?

Breakfast beverage:

Goals of for the weekend       

Theme song of the week:

When I grow up, I wanna be ______:

Things I’m really good at:

Things I need to work on:

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• This weekend was busy: Relay For Life, 2 mile walk, hung out with my friend Emmy, Pool at Pockets, and a thorough deep cleaning of my house. It was one of those productive weekends that you feel oh so tired but oh so accomplished after.
• My Ideal Self chose to go out Saturday night and hang out with friends instead of stay home in my sweats. And my Ideal Self wore 4 inch heels (and rocked them!).
• This week will be busy: work, the new semester begins, I need to register for GRADUATION(!!!!!), then leave on Thursday for the Special Olympic Track & Field State Games at Disney.
• Embarrassing Confession Time: Sarcasman and I calculated how much money we spent on eating out in the month of April. The grand total $807.00. That’s not including groceries. We were floored. Granted it was finals time and we were basically living out of our car but still. That’s a car payment, ability to hire a maid, a new wardrobe, house projects or an opportunity to sock away some serious cash. It was embarrassing and eye-opening. Staring at excel my husband said “that is why we don’t have a new car”. I stared at the number and stated “That is why we are fat.” Sadly, both statements are true.

Weekly Update

Weekly Update:

• I lost 5 lbs this week. I’m a happy camper. Just eating cleaner and trying to move.
• What is your Ideal Self doing this weekend? I’m participating in a neighborhood clean-up event.
• Tonight I will be participating in the local Relay For Life as part of the Special Olympics Team. The American Cancer Society Relay For Life’s mission is to “represent the hope that those lost to cancer will never be forgotten, that those who face cancer will be supported, and that one day cancer will be eliminated”.  I’m excited as it’s the first Relay For Life I’ll have ever participated in. I wish I would have known about it sooner so I would have done some more substantial fundraising (I just found out the details of the event Wednesday) but I figure I can go and walk and show support and be in a loving environment and get hyped up to do it all again next year.
• I made up a workout schedule for the next month. It looks roughly like this:
  • Monday- Special Olympics Swimming Practice (1.5 hours of pacing)
  • Tuesday- Rest. Class.
  • Wednesday- Yin Yoga and 30 minutes cardio at gym/home
  • Thursday- Intro Flow Yoga and 30 minutes cardio at gym/home
  • Friday- Yin Yoga and 30 minutes of cardio at gym/home
  • Saturday- Active stuff (hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, playing at park, etc)
  • Sunday- Rest (gentle yoga optional)
• So glad it’s Friday!

Friday Link Love:

• Relay For Life website- find a event close to you and get involved!
• Dr. David Kessler, author of The End of Overeating, On Why We Can’t Stop Eating
• In the article “Mindful Emotional Eating”, the author suggests “You have two options in regard to emotional eating: you can try to eliminate it altogether or you can try to make better use of it by making emotional eating more conscious…” Interesting, moderate response to something many people struggle with.
• Celebrate Mother’s Day by preparing mom a healthy, happy Mother’s Day brunch!