The Media is Obsessed with Fat People: My Big Fat Boyfriend Book Review & Giveaway
Product: “Your Big Fat Boyfriend: How to Stay Thin When Dating a Diet Disaster” by Jenna Bergen
Website: http://bigfatboyfriend.com/
Description: WARNING: YOUR BOYFRIEND IS MAKING YOU FAT! Gaining weight is every woman’s worst nightmare-and her boyfriend may be to blame! Studies show that when a woman is in a relationship, she almost always gains weight. And your BFB doesn’t have to be fat to make you gain extra lbs! In Your Big Fat Boyfriend, fitness expert Jenna Bergen explores why this phenomenon happens and how a woman can combat it without alienating her sweetie.
Readers will discover:
- The differences in male and female metabolisms
- How to eat healthful meals when dining at not-so-healthy places
- Creative date ideas that will keep couples active
- Good-for-him (and her!) recipes that taste great and won’t leave the guy hungry
Complete with humorous first-person accounts, quizzes, and fun sidebars and charts, Your Big Fat Boyfriend will strike a chord with any girl who’s ever dated a diet disaster.
The Background Story:
Dealing with my marriage in relationship to my diet has been tough. When Sarcasman and I moved in together, I realized how drastically different our eating habits were. Sarcasman brought home tons of food that I loved but didn’t want in the house (candy bars, ice cream, pizza bites, etc). While he eventually gained weight, he could eat a whole hell of a lot more than me and gain less. He didn’t believe in low-fat or fat-free and cooked meals with all the trimmings, full-fat gravy and all. I felt like, in addition to doing himself in, he was sabotaging me by forcing me to be around foods I knew I shouldn’t eat and had little self-control over. He was also the king of eating out and didn’t know a restaurant he didn’t like. He’d often enable me by suggesting we go out to eat after a hard day at work and I’d end up consuming probably twice the calories I would have if we would have prepared our own food at home.
It eventually caught up with him: he’s gained 60+ lbs over the past three years. While I know it’s the pot calling the kettle black, is weight gain is something that troubles me and frustrates me because I’m transferring my feelings about my weight to him. I’m a firm believer that what you hate in yourself you despise in others. Is it fair? No. Bitchy? Yes. Completely ridiculous? Maybe. Ok yes.
When Sarcasman first started gaining I wanted to save him from the pain of being overweight. How? By being completely alienating and patronizing of course. While I was trying to help I’m sure getting nutrition and weight loss advice from your wife who out-weighs you is annoying as hell. Finally, after realizing how annoying I was being and how I was replicating behaviors that drove me crazy in my mom, I gave up.
My Review: Your Big Fat Boyfriend is a great read. It’s not just another diet book for women; it’s informative and realistic yet maintains a healthy dose of humor. “Your Big Fat Boyfriend” includes tips for eating, exercising and living with (or around) a guy who doesn’t appreciate the power of food journaling or Holy Grail diet foods (No Pudge Brownies! Nom nom nom!).
The author also asks you to identify your man from a set of six different types of eating behaviors: The Pusher, The Anti-Veggie, the Junk-Food Junkie and so forth. Then she provides tips for how to deal with them. Man a deadly combination of many different types? Combine all the tips and apply them to your life to perform a full out assault on not letting your Big Fat Boyfriend derail your healthy living plans.
It’s a fun, easy read, something important for people trying to balance work, relationships, family, etc. You have to want to read the book and enjoy reading it to finish it and implement its advice right?
Where to Purchase: Amazon.com
PS: Jenna also has a Your Big Fat Boyfriend blog which I highly recommend.
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WIN A COPY OF Your Big Fat Boyfriend!
Have your very own Big Fat Boyfriend? Dealing with a husband that resembles a dumpling because he eats too many dumplings? Trying to fend off a husband’s junk food addiction? Author Jenna Bergan was generous enough to donate a copy of “Your Big Fat Boyfriend” for a Choosing Losing reader to win!
To enter just leave a comment telling if you’ve dealt with relationship-related weight gain and what (if anything) you’ve done to fight it. Never dealt with relationship-related weight gain? Tell us all how the hell you managed that!!!
Leave a comment by midnight, February 22nd to be entered to win. Winner will be randomly selected using the random number generator. Good luck!
Comments are closed.
I think this is interesting, and just goes to show how a united front is better than a divided front.
My husband and I were both overweight when we started dating, we got MORE overweight together, and then eventually we decided to get THIN together; an endeavor we have been rather successful at. (Last night at weigh in, we officially have now lost MORE weight than I weigh… 155 pounds lost together!)
The thing is, and it drives my husband crazy, I don’t think women give enough credit to what they are doing to their men-folk, and yet, expect the man to be aware, supportive, helpful, etc. Or at least, the topic of the book seems to me to be more in vein with that “He’s BLOWING MY DIET” mentality. (Admittedly, I assume it’s probably easier to lose weight in a vacuum.) I hear it all the time at the meetings… but the question remains; what are you doing to your man? Has this been the way he’s always eaten, and now he’s got to listen to you complain about what he eats? Even if he needs to lose weight, everyone needs to make that decision for themselves. You can’t get healthy to please someone else; it just doesn’t work. (Trust me, otherwise I’d have been thinner years ago. My dad’s been on my case about my weight for a good fifteen years or more…)
Obviously, I haven’t read the book, so if it does give actual GOOD TIPS to living with the man you HAVE instead of trying to make him into the man you want him to be, that would be good.
Oh, I am worried about having this book in the house. Will it totally offend my partner? I can just see his face and hear his voice: You are reading that because of me? I’m not even fat.” (And he isn’t, he just eats like a 20 year old and it’s going to catch up with him soon.)
sounds like a great read (my husband is not overweight. although, like Allie, eats like a 20 year old lol!)
i’ll be sure to look it up!
and congrats on your Spec.Olympic weekend!! sounds like a blast!! We had a mini meet (swimmers from a neighboring community centre) and it was so much fun!
xo
“I’m a firm believer that what you hate in yourself you despise in others. Is it fair? No. Bitchy? Yes. Completely ridiculous? Maybe. Ok yes”
That is SO true. I’m totally guilty.
I realize that male metabolism is usually higher than female metabolism, but how unfair is that?! My hubby has gained a few lbs since we got married, but it’s hardly noticeable. And even though he’s a fairly healthy eater (he’s a vegetarian), he eats giant portions and I tend to match him bite for bite. That’s been part of my undoing.
Love the idea of this book, I think it’s so necessary! It seems to be a given that going into a relationship we’re going to pack on a few pounds.
My ex got irritable when I exercised a lot, and he wasn’t into eating very healthfully. So frustrating. And really difficult to deal with that kind of thing!
Another boyfriend made his own wine. So… yeah. Plenty of free-flowing alcohol, not so good for maintaining a healthy weight
Thank goodness I’m one of the fortunate ones whose husband loves them no matter what. He just wants me to be happy and healthy.
For a long time, I would make 2 separate dinners every night – one for him and one for me. But…over the last several months, he’s started eating whatever I fix and trying new things. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn’t. But that’s ok. After 18 years of marriage, I have accepted his habits and thank God he’s accepted mine. At some point you just have to let go and enjoy life…not sweat the small stuff.
I can’t believe there is a book out there like this! Although Lord knows most women need it after finding that “special someone” and putting on the happy pounds!
Which is just the case with me! I went from “semi-conscious” of my weight before my boyfriend, but that flew out the window once we discovered our mutual love for food…not a good thing!
We’ve now been dating 2 years, and I have put on about 20 pounds (on a 5’3″ frame) in that time frame. On December 31, 2008 I decided that I couldn’t deal with ballooning after every meal while my boyfriend stayed the same, if not more slender. Men. Haha!
So anyway, I joined Weight Watchers on 12/31/08 and have been more conscious about what I eat and when I exercise. I’m really determined to get back to my pre-boyfriend weight and feel good about myself in a bathing suit. So far I’ve lost 10.8 pounds and am feeling better every day. My boyfriend and I can still enjoy food, but in a more moderate way that is better for both of us!
This book looks *awesome* I’m glad I happened upon your site when I was checking out the other Skinny Minny Media blog header winners! Thanks for such a cool giveaway
~*angela*~
Pretty much it all comes down to- he’s my size, plus another half of me, plus a few more pounds, and a lot of that is muscle. So of course he can eat more than me and not gain weight. But that’s not very comforting when I’m already done eating my small froyo and he’s still only a third of the way through an extra large. Sooo I order a medium because, hey, it’s a happy medium, right? Only it doesn’t quite work that way…
I’m getting better at dealing with the cruel unfairness of portion distribution, a little, but it still burns me a bit from time to time.
I absolutely gained weight during my relationship.
It started off easy. Our dates for the first 6 months were going for walks. 2-3 hours about every day. Nothing better than that to keep the pounds off! Then the weather got colder. I bought the house. There was always something in the way.
Cooking quick, easy, (usually unhealthy!) meals when I got home from work at 8:30pm wasnt helping. When you are hungry and tired, who wants to take the extra effort to prepare veggies? Hamburger Helper is so much easier. And dont forget to add extra cheese to make it taste better! On the lazier nights, it became cookies and soda. EEK!
I would make a pizza and we would split it. Half a pizza is nothing for my 6’6″ husband who needs twice the calories I need at 5’2″.
I have learned to be wary of the portions that I eat vs. what he eats.
But switching jobs and going from standing all day to sitting all day sabotaged what I had going for me! I continued to gain weight.
Now I am making much healthier meals. He thankfully eats whatever I cook. But keeping those sweets out of the house has been difficult. And those days when we cant eat together are always harder. Who wants to cook for just one person!?!
How do you deal with those old favorite recipes that are loaded with calories and fat? Especially when he asks so sweetly for you to make them!?!
I cant wait to get my hands on this book!
When I read the title of this book I almost shouted out loud. I have had the hardest time keeping my weight down over the course of my marriage. When I met DH, I had just lost 70 pounds which has crept back on with friends, I got it off again, but put it back on. I have long suspected that my DH is “making” me fat – now I have PROOF! LOL!!!
I don’t have a bona fide BFB, mostly because he has an insane metabolism. Unfortunately, I do not share in his “affliction” and instead have one that at times seems to move slower than molasses. It also doesn’t help that he’s a sweetheart who is quick to tell me that he loves me regardless of my weight (b/c I have a tendency to, thankfully, put the weight on the “right” places).
In an effort to deal, I try not to eat as often as he does – he’s almost always snacking it seems, to be sure to eat a healthy breakfast – so I’m not starving, and whenever we’re splitting a dish, I deliberately eat slower than him and “miscalculate” how much I’ve eaten so that he ends up eating more of the dish than I do.
When I started dating my Love of my life I noticed the portions I ate were so much more and I was eating lots of more meat! Which really made me pack on the pounds… I have managed to loose some of the weight by making my own meals during the week night, but it is still quite hard since I love cooking for my guy
katiepaterson@gmail.com
I gained about 25 pounds with my man over 4 years. I have since dumped him (nothing to do with the weight) and went to a gym. My new BF is slowly getting on board with portion control and healthy eating. He sees how goo I look, and wants to look better himself.
This book just shouts “I’m Talking to YOU!” Heh. When my boyfriend and I began dating, I blew up. His deep love of sugar and butter, eating out, and large portions helped strip me of 4 years of eating healthy. I could use this book!
My boyfriend can eat anything and he never gains weight!! although I have a bigger sweet tooth them him he always has chips and snacks in the house! it kills me?!! katiepaterson@gmail.com
My husband has pizza sauce for blood and always wants little debbies and pop in the house. I have gradually gained weight over our 18 years of marriage -unfortunately 3 ‘little’ pounds a year. Its so hard not to indulge when its right in the house. And now we have 2 pizza/taco/burger loving teenage sons! I gotta get this book!
I really cant wait to get this book!! I need it
All these story I read from all you guys just ring so much truth for me!! My boyfriend just doesn’t get it and he can eat anything!!